Academic Alibis

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Exam time is upon us, and still the excuses pour in!

Here are some of the best submissions we've received over the past few weeks.

Thank you for submitting, and keep 'em coming! Click here to submit an excuse that you've heard or received and check back later to see if it 'made the grade!'

Academic Alibis (reproduced verbatim):

sorry i havent shown up for class today but i am really sicktoday! I been puking, coughing and stuff like that. right now i am preparing to go to the doctor, so about that. I will look at [online learning site] and do my missing task that need to be done!

-Submitted by TB

I was arrested for jaywalking so I didn't come to class.

-Submitted by KB

yesterday my parakeet flew out of its cage and I had to go all around the neighborhood trying to find it
-Submitted by Anon

I will not be in class today as I had a long night at work. I have booked off the rest this week off to take some stress off. I will be more efficient with my time.
-Submitted by LP

Miss _________! Is there any way I could write the repro. test Thursday second block? I got ho-ho's today and I think it gave me food poisoning or something 'cause I've been throwing up for a couple hours now. Unless I feel exponentially better come morning, I won't be making it to class. I promise I studied though! I have the written notes in my scribbler + highlighting to prove it. I'M NOT SKIPPING, SO DON'T BEAK ME FOR IT. Hope you sleep well while I'm being a disgusting mess! Goodnight!
-Submitted by KC

Click here to submit an excuse of your own! Thanks again!

Wednesday, 2 January 2013

New year, new excuses!!

Hope you had a Merry Christmas and a happy new year! While we were celebrating, the excuses kept pouring in. Here are some of the best submissions we've received over the past few weeks.

Thank you for submitting, and keep 'em coming! Click here to submit an excuse that you've heard or received and check back later to see if it 'made the grade!'

Academic Alibis (reproduced verbatim):

Hey I will not be coming to school tomorrow because my parents wants the whole family to stay in tomorrow because of the whole phenomenon of 2012. [the Mayan Dec 21 calendar re-set]
-Submitted by CK

My boyfriend has too much testosterone, didn't get enough sleep and was emotionally unfit to write an exam. I'm sorry.

-Submitted by RW

A student handed in a plagarized essay. She sent this to me by email: The essay that you have with you is the wrong one..I gave that to u by accident.. my original essay is with me. I will give that to u first thing in the morning tomorrow...and the essay is hand written..if u want me to type it and print it out, I'll do that..sorry about the misunderstanding. Thank you. I can't come tomorrow because I have to go to court to fight my driving ticket. Please excuse me from class.

-Submitted by LP

Good morning Mr. ____, I just want to inform you that im not gonna be able to attend your class today because I have Dysmenorrhea.
-Submitted by KW

I hate to do this but I can't make it today, I ran out of my daily contact lenses and I don't have a pair of glasses when my prescription is -5.5, I hope you'll give me the chance to finish the second part of my test monday.
-Submitted by LP

One of my students missed her unit exam because she fell asleep with her earbud style headphones on. When she woke up, the foam padding was stuck in her ear. She asked her mom to help get it out, and her mom pushed it all the way into her ear canal. When she showed up today, she said the foam piece was still in there. I didn't ask to look.

-Submitted by KW

Click here to submit an excuse of your own! Thanks again!

Thursday, 20 December 2012

New Excuses are In!

Here are some of the best submissions we've received this week. Thank you for submitting, and keep 'em coming! Click here to submit an excuse that you've heard or received and check back later to see if it 'made the grade!'

Academic Alibis (reproduced verbatim):

Hey, sorry I havent been in class. Things have been pretty hectic at home. I was planning on coming today but im sick with a stomach infection. If you wouldnt mind sending me an email of everything I need to have done I woupd appreciate it greatly.

-Submitted by LP

Sorry I was absent today because my alarm didn't go off. Ill be in class tomorrow. (she wasn't)

-Submitted by LP

I had a rough night with my friends so I thought I'd make myself feel better but I got too high so I couldn't make it in.

-Submitted by BJSS

God morning Mrs. ___ I am going to belate because I want to talk to my adminstator if i am still in you're class. Thanks.

-Submitted by LP

Please excuse my absence from second block English today, I've become violently ill and won't be able to make it. I won't be comming empty handed for tomorrows writing class though. Thanks again, and see you tomorrow.

-Submitted by LP

Not comming today don't feel good I had my ladie things

-Submitted by LP

Click here to submit an excuse of your own! Thanks again!

Monday, 10 December 2012

The first round of submissions...we have some real winners here!

Here are some of the best submissions we've received so far. Thank you for your submissions, and keep 'em coming! Click here to submit an excuse that you've heard or received and check back later to see if it 'made the grade!'

Academic Alibis (reproduced verbatim):

Hi, i won't be in today. I ran out of my beta-blocker medication, there is a pain in every inch of my body. I'll probally be away one day next week (because i need a appointment) which leaves me in an uncomfortable position considering what we're doing next week.

-Submitted by LP (for KC)

I'm sorry I missed your class yesterday but I was so constipated I couldn't walk.

-Anon.

Reasons for being late:

1. Bus stopped at every stop downtown because weather was bad.

2. Got off at the wrong LRT station

3. Alarm

4. I was walking slow because of my knee Stupid bus just left me

-Submitted by LP

So, friday I broke up with the guy I was dating. It appeared to be a good breakup but Sunday night on Facebook, he made a rude status saying I was a whore and all I wanted was sex from him. So I messaged him about it and we got in a huge arguement. I confronted him about what he was saying face-to-face at school on Monday. The argeument got pretty heated and we were yelling at each other. I admit I acted immature and threw a deck of cards at him. The whole "52 pickup" thing. This is when the girls he was with got mad. I had to go to work and so I left and the girls tried following me on the LRT. I started getting the texts on the LRT and they continued throughout my whole 8 hr work shift. I was jst too wound up and stressed to come to school. Finally my friends called and assured I was safe. So I came back. WHAT A PHENOMENAL START TO DECEMBER.

-Submitted by LP

I have a fungus infection on my foot and I need to apply cream every half hour. So I won't be at school today.

-Anon.

Click here to submit an excuse of your own! Thanks again!

Tuesday, 4 December 2012

Academic Alibis: Why we're here!

We've all heard them - this site is dedicated to collecting and compiling the funny, terrible, and just plain awkward excuses students provide for missing school.

Perhaps a student feels compelled to describe the reason for an urgent gynecological appointment. Maybe a student's grandma has passed away for the seventh time in a year on the same day as the World Cup Final. Maybe there are splinters in his rear end that make sitting through a calculus lesson purely impossible. If you've heard anything like this, you can bet your splintered rear end there are others that would love to hear it too!

Here's what to do: please submit excuses you've heard or received using the link below. The authors of this site will review them and publish the best submissions they receive. Check back often to see if your excuses "make the grade!"

Click here to submit an excuse

Thank you for your submissions! We look forward to watching this blog expand before our eyes!

Image courtesy of alamosbasement on Flickr